Man Who Can’t Get To Work Because Of Flooded Subway Really Just Worried About Inflation If It Was Fixed

“I have a lot of things I need to get done today,” said New York City resident James Palmer, “but if we invested in these infrastructure issues it might devalue the dollar by as much as 7.2%. I’d really rather not be able to get to the hospital if I have to than let our economy suffer that level of inflation.”

Implicit Bias Training Teaches Cop To Avoid Micro-Aggressions So He Can Focus On Macro-Aggressions

“Once I was able to get the little things out of the way, I was much better able to focus on the bigger things, like beating up random people for jaywalking,” Officer Krupke told The Harold Tribune.