Author Archives: haroldtribune
Kyle Rittenhouse Holds National Speaking Tour To Announce His Interest In Anonymity
“I plan to change my name,” Kyle Rittenhouse noted on a broadcast seen by millions. “I’m not sure what yet but you all will be the first to know!”
Man Who Can’t See Race Apparently Doesn’t Realize All His Friends Are White
Rittenhouse Judge: When You Pinch Somebody’s Head, They Die In Real Life
THIS DAY IN HISTORY: Woke Cancel Mob Marched Through Georgia, Making White Kids Feel Bad About Racism
November 15, 1864: William Tecumseh Sherman led a mob of self-righteous cancellers through Atlanta, Georgia, calling out everybody with a Confederate flag as “racists”—even though some of them didn’t own slaves! Sherman burned down just about everything he saw, making all the white kids feel bad about who they are instead of proud to beContinue reading “THIS DAY IN HISTORY: Woke Cancel Mob Marched Through Georgia, Making White Kids Feel Bad About Racism”
WEIRD! Facebook Rebranding In Spite Of Stellar Image Of Service, Beloved CEO
Beloved Man Gains Admiration, Respect By Yelling “Let’s Go Brandon!” At Random People Throughout The Day
“I’ve finally found my calling in my life,” noted local douchebag Jacob Andersen.
Facebook Changes Name To Galactus To Appear Less Hostile, More Caring
“After a lengthy rebranding discussion, we realized that anything sounds better than the tarnished name of Facebook,” announced CEO Mark Zuckerberg.