November 15, 1864: William Tecumseh Sherman led a mob of self-righteous cancellers through Atlanta, Georgia, calling out everybody with a Confederate flag as “racists”—even though some of them didn’t own slaves! Sherman burned down just about everything he saw, making all the white kids feel bad about who they are instead of proud to beContinue reading “THIS DAY IN HISTORY: Woke Cancel Mob Marched Through Georgia, Making White Kids Feel Bad About Racism”
Author Archives: haroldtribune
WEIRD! Facebook Rebranding In Spite Of Stellar Image Of Service, Beloved CEO
Beloved Man Gains Admiration, Respect By Yelling “Let’s Go Brandon!” At Random People Throughout The Day
“I’ve finally found my calling in my life,” noted local douchebag Jacob Andersen.
Facebook Changes Name To Galactus To Appear Less Hostile, More Caring
“After a lengthy rebranding discussion, we realized that anything sounds better than the tarnished name of Facebook,” announced CEO Mark Zuckerberg.
OPINION: Everybody Needs To Stop Being So Offended By Things That Don’t Affect Me Personally
FUCK: Favorite Classic Rock Song A Truck Commercial Now
Florida Governor Bans “Employees Must Wash Hands” Signs
“If a hard-working American wants to hand-toss a salad of lightly dressed greens immediately after taking a crap, and they don’t want to wash their hands first, I am going to protect their God-given right to do so,” noted Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “This is America, not Cuba.”
Joe Manchin: “I’ll Support Infrastructure Bill As Long As A Lot Of Stuff Remains Broken”
“I’m happy to support paying to fix trains on the New York City subway, but we can’t fix all of them,” said Joe Manchin (D-West Virginia). “Maybe half. I can only get behind the infrastructure bill as long as a bunch of people remain inconvenienced. My constituents won’t stand for anything less.”
The Harold Tribune 