“If a hard-working American wants to hand-toss a salad of lightly dressed greens immediately after taking a crap, and they don’t want to wash their hands first, I am going to protect their God-given right to do so,” noted Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “This is America, not Cuba.”
These early medical geniuses were centuries ahead of their time
“Usually it’s just wars or famines on another continent,” noted area resident Joshua Greene, “and who cares about that, but this time I had to wear a mask!”
“At least classrooms are still closed so we won’t have to shut them down again after an increase in community spread,” said mayor London Breed from her reserved seat at the French Laundry.