“I’m Color Blind, I Don’t See Race,” Man Often Says, But Mostly To Black People
Ready To Vote? Election Only 2 Months Or 60K Deaths Away, Depending On How You Keep Track Of Time These Days
Man Owns Firearms Only For Sport, Specifically The Sport Of Hunting Human Beings He Disagrees With
Fanatical Optimist Cheers Up Local Residents With “The End Is Near” Sign
“Keep Politics Out Of Sports!” Yells Man Who Enjoys Watching Death Machines Fly Over Football Games
“There’s nothing political about mass murdering your enemies while waiving the American flag,” said the area man.
Heartwarming! Cop Makes Cookies For Crime Lab Tech Who Covered Up His Three Shootings
We don’t often hear much good news about cops these days, but this story was just too heartwarming not to share! In spite of all the negativity in the press that makes it difficult to do his job, Officer Bill Krupke still goes out of his way to show his appreciation to co-workers who destroy evidence that would easily convict him for second degree murder.
What a guy! Let’s hear it for Officer Krupke, cop of the year!
Cop Lets Innocent Black Man Walk Free After Mistaking Him For White Man With Assault Rifle
Trump: Were You Better Off A Year Ago Than Four Years Ago? Because You’re Obviously Way Worse Off Right Now
“I mean holy shit, the last few months have obviously been the very worst months of your life, so let’s not even go there,” said the President.
Seventeen-Year-Old Loser Still Needs Mom To Drive Him Around So He Can Murder People
Also, wears clogs.
The Harold Tribune 